


Gotta Go Gotta Go Gotta Go Right Now

by kho



Series: Please Allow Me This Self Indulgence [6]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 17:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5792911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kho/pseuds/kho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post ep to tonight's ep, 6x13, because oh... man, the hilarity that happened in my head about the water bottle.  Calling this one Head Canon/Deleted Scene too. Heh.  Rating for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotta Go Gotta Go Gotta Go Right Now

Danny closes his eyes and clenches his fists. “Okay. Steve. Please.”

Steve smirks. “Please what?”

“Please. Pull. Over.” Danny breathes out slowly through his lips. “Seriously, man, I’m not overstating this, I gotta go. For real.”

“And I’m serious, Danny, I want free dinner and drinks!”

Danny glares at him. “Seriously? Seriously. You’re gonna make me suffer, like, actually painfully suffer, because you can’t be assed to fork over $10 for dinner and beer? I’ll fucking pay!”

Steve’s hands clench on the wheel. “It’s a matter of pride. He called me a haole!”

“It’s a matter of.” Danny blows out through his nose. “It’s a matter of _pride_ , Steven, this is a matter of my teeth floating!”

“You shoulda said time out back there,” Steve says, pointing a thumb behind them. “What, didn’t your Mom ever make you go to the bathroom before you left to go somewhere?”

“I didn’t have to go then!”

Steve snorts. “Child.”

“I will pee in this car,” Danny yells, gesticulating wildly and squeezing a leg against the other. “Fucking seriously, man, I gotta go!”

“No,” Steve yells back, gesticulating just as wildly. “No peeing, no puking, and no other bodily fluids are to be expelled in this car, Daniel, you know the rules!”

“Rules, he says, rules he cares about now,” Danny mutters. “And just, by the way, Steve? _My_ car, _I_ paid _my_ money for this car so if I want to jizz in my puke and then pee on it, I fucking will!”

Steve’s face contorts horribly, so much so that Danny’s not even sure how he can see anymore. “Fucking, you are a sick fuck, you know that!”

“Pull over!”

“Use the bottle,” Steve yells, bending over and reaching between Danny’s legs to grab the bottle off the floorboard, ignoring Danny’s pinched ‘road, Steve, watch the road!’ to hand it to him. “Aim well!”

“Aim! Aim well?” He watches the side of Steve’s face. “Aim?!”

“It’s a wide mouthed bottle, it’ll do,” Steve says, smirking.

“Well hate to tell you, partner, but the girth to wide mouth ratio is not adding up, Steven,” Danny says, but good God almighty does he have to go go go, go right now, so, “Fuck it, drive fucking straight!”

Steve grins from ear to ear as Danny shoves his boardshorts down and turns away from him, hunching his shoulders as he tries to hide.

“Could you turn on some music, man, I’d rather not put on a show!”

Steve laughs and reaches to turn on the music. His grin widens as Dancing Queen comes on. Now that’s just luck right there.

“Seriously, my dick just shrank,” Danny grumbles. “It just wilted, are you gonna do something about that? Dancing Queen? You’ve turned my car gay, Steve, it has an identity crisis.”

Steve just grins, and sings, “You can dance, you can jive, hav-ing the time of your liiiiiife.” He looks over to catch Danny’s Death Glare and busts out laughing. “Thought you had to pee so bad your teeth were floating.”

Danny forgoes his modesty and reaches over to punch the buttons on the radio, visibly relaxing when Creedence Clearwater comes on. “Okay. That’s better.”

Steve maybe sneaks a look. Maybe.

“Eyes front, mister,” Danny says, but he’s grinning as he turns again and lines up the bottle, finally able to go. He fills probably half of the bottle and closes his eyes blissfully as he caps it and tucks himself back in. “Okay.   Thank God.” 

“See? Bottle’s not such a bad option.”

Danny glares at him. “Next time I have to pee and you won’t pull over I’m going to _pee down your throat.”_

“Sorry,” Steve says with a shrug. “No golden showers for this guy.”

“Asshole.”


End file.
